Dearest Human Who Thought Therapy Would Help Faster

I thought the same thing!

After 6 months of being in therapy, I was frustrated that I was still dealing with intense emotions, ups and downs, and more.

"How long is this going to take?" Illustration by Jackie Schuld

I’m guessing you’re also frustrated that you’re not feeling better yet.

When you’re in pain, 6 months can feel like a VERY long time.

What we cannot see though is that the pain we are experiencing is usually due to a complex mix of lifetime behaviors, beliefs instilled in childhood, experiences across our lifetime, and current systemic issues (navigating life with ever-present racism, patriarchy, misogyny, broken health care systems, and more).

Yes, I also wish it could all be better in 6 months.

Most likely, it won’t. You will still be on your journey of unraveling and understanding. Of fully seeing, choosing, and reinforcing what you want for your life.

It will take time.

I do hope you can see how you’ve been growing and expanding though.

I hope you can see ways that things are getting better.

We all need different things at different points in our healing journeys.

Maybe you will benefit from more time in therapy (if you feel it has already benefited you).

Maybe there will come a time where you are ready to stop and rely on other resources. Support groups. Journaling. Retreats. Coaches. Or a nice long pause from everything.

You have options.

You are not trapped.

But you also do not have to scramble for the next best thing.

I am here to tell you that it is normal for therapy to take time.

And that is ok.

There is nothing wrong with you. It’s how the process of growth works.

You can find yourself wondering, “But how long will it take??”

No one can predict that. It is shaped by factors both in and out of our control. Life circumstances. Unexpected events. How much you apply and practice what you learn in therapy. And much more.

I’m not asking you to stay in therapy if you feel it hasn’t benefited you and you don’t like the therapist. If that’s the case, it’s time to find a new therapist.

What I want you to know is you are not broken. That it is normal for it to take time. That you are not hopeless.

If someone had told me I’d feel better in a couple of years when I first started therapy, I would have felt distraught. I was in so much pain at the time. I didn’t want another month of that.

Thing is, I didn’t have another month of pain. It decreased with time. It wasn’t instantly better, and I certainly went through periods of ups and down, but it did get better with time.

Now, I am at a place where I have never been more content with my life. I am grateful I didn’t give up on the process.

I am writing this letter to give you hope and encouragement.

I want you to know there is nothing exceptionally wrong about you. It’s just going to take time.

With Love,

Jackie

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