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For my 36th year of life, I wrote 360 essays. I started the challenge 1/4th the way into my birthday year, so it was quite the whirlwind of writing. I originally wanted to write because my head felt so full of thoughts. There was so much I wanted to say and articulate. I thought writing would empty my head.
Turns out, the more I wrote, the more ideas I had. I keep track of every idea by writing it down in my current journal.
My list of ideas is now longer than my list of 360 essays I’ve written. I kept track of everything I wrote and my writing topics so that I could see trends over time. There were periods that I wrote more about general psychology topics and then periods where I wrote primarily about private practice. I’m currently in a period where most of my articles are about autism. I appreciate the eb and flow.
Accordingly, my list of ideas flow in and out of different categories. Whenever I wasn’t sure what to write about, I’d review my list to see if something piqued my interest. I only would write about something if I felt excited to do it. Only about 1 in 5 of my ideas make it to fruition.
Here’s my list of ideas that never made it to written form.
Art Therapy
When is it time to go to therapy?
Anatomy of an art therapy session
Therapy for overwhelming thoughts and emotions
How can art therapy help
Therapy alone will not solve all your problems
Seeing burnt out and overworked therapists at my first conference
Cultural appropriation in art therapy
Perfectionism in art therapy
Therapy takes time
10 ways art therapy helps entrepreneurs find peace of mind
The Drift from art therapy to talk therapy
Autism
Why art therapy for autistics
Do I need to get a diagnosis for autism?
How to know it’s time for therapy when you’re autistic
How therapy can help you address the impacts of growing up unidentified autistic
How therapy can help you see new aspects of your autistic self
The health and well being of an autistic mind
Nest construction
How much more therapy do I need
I live by different standards/norms
The trauma of trying
A second chance in life
We can adapt
Trauma can’t be healed until we recognize autism as the source
Giving ourselves some slack as autistics
Not treatment, but understanding
Friendships based on tasks
No longer an existential dread
Wondering if they believe me
What does an autistic meltdown look like?
Brutal honesty
Passing for normal
We don’t need 8 hours, redefining productivity
What works best for your biology
You may never hit the same level of productivity again
How autism can impact the holidays
Autistics throw ourselves in because of connection
I’m sharing the experience of being smart and autistic
It’s an exciting time to be autistic
Are we gifted because we’ve had so much practice masking?
Dear Autism
Sensory getting worse with time
Preparing for travel
Square peg gets damaged trying to fit into round hole
Constellation things
Adaptations or Accomodations people want
Shame of others witnessing detours
How therapy can help you flourish
How therapy can help autistic transitioning to adulthood
How therapy can help you design a sustainable life
How therapy can help you heal autistic past
Ways autistics are gaslit in therapy
Strategies for autism
I’m shifting what I wear
Why it matters to know you’re autistic when you need therapy
Why the transition to adulthood is difficult for autitstics
My fat list of autism characteristics
Autism and sexual trauma
Friendships being hard in the middle range
Cultural bullshit: push yourself outside your comfort zone
Cringeworthy autism education
What if it is neurotypicals who need better theory of mind
Let it be multi-layered and complex: what I say does not apply
Autism and level of preference
Why feeling you’re too sensitive is exhausting
When overwhelmed: tell me what to do
Stigma of autism
Why autism is so confusing
Anxiety after never being accepted
I am you, just a little more extreme
Autism and being more connected to earth energy
Autism and people not feeling real
When someone else defines your growth or wellbeing
Stop mandatory participation
“But Everyone Feels That Way” as a form of gaslighting autism
My autistic brain helped me out of religion
What if autistics are meant to be the norm
How do people on the spectrum differ
Self Diagnosis and autism
General Psychology
“Let it Go” is bad advice
Don’t compare me to intimidating people
Conflicting messages about embracing being a woman
I’m angry about vaginoplasties
Misogny in sexual activity
How porn highlights issues
Toxicity around goals, pushing ourselves
Bangability/likeability as conferred by others
Do most people have a complicated relationships with their body?
Maybe it’s not good advice because you’re not them
Relationship with social media
Apology as weapon
Maybe you love yourself more than you think (action)
Narrative scarcity
Men need to change
Shame spiraling
Food righteousness
Who benefits when we think we’re the problem mentally
Who benefits when we need to love harder
Who benefits when we only focus on what’s in our control
Use orange cards
When you use romance to soothe low self esteem
Too much and not enough
Befriending our emotions
How self shaming gets in the way
Comparing our pain to others does not help
The line between accepting and changing
Humor as weapon/gaslighting (haha jk)
Avoiding after an argument
Being intelligent and the pressure of time
The pressure of time and milestones
Directly asking for what we want
Peacemakers not being at peace internally
“Purpose in Life” leading many people astray
What it means to be listened to (grandma)
Growing phenomena of ghosting
Pretting privilege
Just stop worrying
Fear creates the thing we fear
Hypergamy - unequal relationships
How the response to the problem matters most in dating
Manipulation as power
Displaced anger at those who stood by
Trauma inspired love
The social systems and cultural norms that harm men (men get a raw deal too_
Maybe your toxic parents were victims too
Psychosomatic and causing cancer
I don’t think most perpetrators even know they’re that
You’re not uniquely defective
Depression as a systemic warning sign
The pressure of becoming
Mental health and blaming video games, food, and exercise versus the real problems
Is happy and poverty a myth?
Borderline misdiagnosis
Unearned confidence in white men
Fat as neutral
What’s happening is demoralizing: body issues
Personal
Letter to future self
Letter to past self
Writing about my art
Writing about all the books I’ve thought about writing
Write about periods of art
What I’m reading update
Cancer: be a good cancer patient
Dear quasi cancer patient
Tips for a pap smear test
Open position: hiring for a best friend
Don’t therapize me
Private Practice
The unforeseen ways private practice benefited me
Keeping track of our contributions as therapists
Parallel pathing as you make changes (two jobs)
Snap of what my business was like before
Trustworthy sources of feedback
How I design my practice to fit my autistic needs
What if your imposter syndrome is legit?
What is your commitment to social justice and transformative work?
The need to explain ourselves
Just because it works doesn’t mean we should do it
What is success revisted
Shifting over time
I am living my end game
The role of privilege in private practice
You never know (the journey to private practice and everything working out)
Who benefits when we feel we must take insurance
Our fees are a matter of social justice
Cognitive distortions and private practice
Should I make an exception to my canceellation policy?
Potential clients - exploiting them or putting them in their power
Need to get out of our own way
Feeling more grounded in our policies
Fear of being sued
How raising your fee can uplift the field
What a premium fee provides me
Overwhelmed setting up therapy space
Maybe you don’t like marketing because it is predatory
Religious Deconstruction
What is religious trauma
Your life is only of worth when you’re serving
What is religious deconstruction
Beliefs: God will never give you more than you can handle
Beliefs” Idle hands are the devil’s playground
Beliefs: All for the glory of God
The Church is gaslighting you
Found to be lacking
Help others first
Mental health damages with sin
Difficulty of writing the nuances around religion
Hate the sin not the sinner
What I’ve done to heal impacts of Christianity
You can justify anything you want
Servitude Complex
Make your relationship work through anything
When beliefs and feeling don’t align (Biblical love can fuck you up)
You will know them by their fruit
LDS missions are toxic supremacy culture
I’m scared of Christians
Everything must glorify God
Christian girls trained for the male
You don’t have doubt, that is the neutral
God will never give you more than you can handle
This list is only from the past 6 weeks. Now imagine how long my list is from the past year of writing.
This is what I would say if I didn’t fear getting murdered
Shirt off back
Therapist Life
Investing in ourselves as therapists
How most therapists are generalists
Traumatic intake procedures
Signs I’m feeling rundown
What are we teaching by not paying?
Let’s stop normalizing damaging behavior
Wounded healer
Should you become a therapist
Taking care of yourself as a therapist
Patriarchy shaping the field
Why unpaid internships are problematic
Constructive withholding
Who gets off the hook
Sometimes therapists muck up conversations
Continuity of care in agences
That’s what you took away from therapy?
Therapist vs. Coach
Emotions to watch out for: resentment, bitter, not caring, etc.
The helping profession with bring up your issues
Partners being upset with therapists
Choosing clients versus being given
Writing
The symbiotic relationship between writing and being a therapist
Who benefits when we write to be seen
Why do illustrators get the short end of the stick
A new way of writing
I guess my list wasn’t as long as I thought. It’s only in the range of 225 essays. Regardless of its length, it’s still a sizeable amount of essays that I chose not to write.
Typing this list only reaffirmed to me the importance of following our energy. Of the 100+ ideas above, I only felt two were inspiring for me to write about now. I think it’s ok to have lots of ideas that we do not act on. As an autistic individual, it’s a part of my everyday life. I have to develop the skill of discernment. For me, I have chosen to base discernment on my energy. I think that is far better than what I think people will like or develop the marketing I want.
It has taken good care of me thus far.
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