Dearest Therapy Client: You’re Going to Fuck Up
Dear Client of Mine,
I want you to know that I already know you’re going to fuck up.
It’s a given. I fuck up all the time too.
So let’s take the pressure off of instantly absorbing everything you learn in therapy and performing perfectly.
It’s not going to happen. You will fuck up.
So now that we both know this, let’s make sure we use those fuck up moments.
Let’s not sweep them under the rug or into the crevices of your mind. It’s mighty tempting to do that. To feel so frustrated with ourselves as our mind screams, “I knew better, why did I do that?” We can stew in shame as we feel utterly depressed and hopeless that we can’t seem to do better.
It’s only hopeless if you keep your fuck ups in the dark.
Tell me about them.
We can cry about them. Laugh about them (hey, I’ve done some pretty absurd things that were so bad it was hilarious). Talk about them. Make some art about them. Maybe even learn from them.
We can normalize what it means to be human. I mean really, I’m a therapist who reads psychology constantly and has been in therapy for yearrrssss. And I still fuck up. I might even fuck up with you (like cut you off or talk to fast or not explain things well). I’ll do my best to own my shit (and please, you can point that shit out too), and improve over time.
This is a space where it is safe to fuck up.
I want you to know that.
With all my love,
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