Jackie Schuld Art Therapy Blog

Dearest Growth on My Head: Part 1

This is the first letter in a two part series written to the growth on my head.

 

Dearest Growth on My Head,


I think it’s time we have a talk. I’ve been very worried about you and have some unanswered questions I’d like to discuss.


"Feeling the Growth on My Head" Watercolor by Jackie Schuld

You first showed up as a teeny tiny dot on my forehead six months ago. You were so tiny and hard that I thought you were a zit. I’m sorry I tried to pick you away, I just didn’t know. Please forgive me.


You grew so fast that it was quite alarming. I knew you were different because of your hard, brittle texture. I thought you were skin cancer. It was your presence that motivated me to see a dermatologist.


She informed me that you are just an age spot. I was relieved.


That relief lasted maybe one minute, for she then found a mole on my body that was “suspicious” and needed to be removed. The subsequent lab tests didn’t look good, so I even had to go back for more to be removed.


I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You know it all. You’ve witnessed it all. You go everywhere with me.


Many times I forget you’re even there, but other times I feel you. It’s the feel of you that bothers me. So different from the rest of my skin.


So here’s what I’d like to talk about: how big do you intend to get? I’m a little concerned by how fast you’re growing. Sometimes my imagination gets carried away and I picture Medieval people with massive growths on their face. I don’t want that to be me.


At the same time, I wish I didn’t care. I’m bothered that you bother me. Haha. I want to embrace aging and how I am. But I gotta be honest, if you keep growing with impunity, I’ll probably have you lopped off the next time I go to the dermatologist.


I’m sorry, but I figured it’s better you know now so you can make some choices. If you stay how you are now, I think we can have a neutral relationship. I believe there’s a word for that, lemme look it up. Maybe some mutualism? Though I’m not sure how you benefit me.


Oh wait, the minute I said that … you did get me to go to the dermatologist. Who did find some cancerous crap to remove. Alright, so maybe we do have a mutual relationship.


But still, I’d like to establish some ground rules. We can co-exist, but no more expansion. You can stay where you are, but no more real estate on my face. The same applies if you try to grow more vertical. Let’s just say there’s a moratorium on growth.


In this agreement, I’ll take care of you and do the best I can to make your existence comfortable. Is there something you need that I’m not giving you? Like more sunscreen? Or perhaps a little more lotion? You just let me know and I’ll do it.


Lastly, I’m sorry I touch you so much. I’ll work on that. You’re just so new and foreign. But I wouldn’t like being poked and prodded so much either. So as part of the agreement I’ll reduce the frequency I poke you.


Take care up there,

Jackie

 

Tomorrow I'll share the fate of the growth.


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