I’ve been writing an essay every day since December 20th, 2021. When I wrote this essay, it was number 136. This morning I wrote essay number 291.
I started this writing endeavor by giving myself a challenge of writing 100 essays in 100 days. I nimbly paired that challenge with the challenge to make no new changes in my business (I’m an art therapist who runs a therapy private practice). That turned out to be a stroke of genius. It provided a container where the only things on my “to do” list for the day were to write an essay and show up to my therapy practice for my clients. It was a great deal of space for my mind to wander and write about whatever came up that day.
After I hit 100 days, I decided to quietly continue writing. I felt I no longer needed a public goal that I shared with others and would continue to do it for myself.
As I made the transition to my new quiet goal, I let go of my hard container about no changes to my business. In my 100 days of writing, I had accrued quite the list of marketing ideas for my business. I had also been toying with the idea of hiring an assistant.
I decided to move forward with these things, which I knew would be a financial investment. Right about this time, I also had a client unexpectedly conclude therapy. With my increasing amount of expenses and my decreasing income, scarcity mindset kicked in and I began frenetically making a new marketing plan and investing my time in it.
![Autistic Art Therapist Jackie Schuld shares an abstract painting of blocks of painting rising from blue up to white.](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/0a16f3_372e58ad751a48649657eef823c7bdab~mv2.jpeg/v1/fill/w_980,h_970,al_c,q_85,usm_0.66_1.00_0.01,enc_auto/0a16f3_372e58ad751a48649657eef823c7bdab~mv2.jpeg)
My spare thoughts went to this. Even on my days off, my brain thought of creative solutions to my problem. My brain is great that way - it sees a problem and it wants to solve a problem. The downside is that it can border on obsession where it lets in little else (ah, the joys of being autistic).
It's become increasingly more difficult to write. In fact, I haven’t written in 3 days. This might not sound like a lot, but it’s the longest space that has passed since December 20th. When I sit down to write, my brain tells me all of the other things I could or should be doing. Even while writing this essay, it has reminded me of at least four other things I needed to do that I quickly took care of.
This energy and mental focus shift wouldn’t be such a problem if I enjoyed my life as such. However, I far more enjoyed my day to day life when my mind was solely focused on writing and doing what I do as a therapist.
And yet, I run a business. I have to ensure I have clients coming in the door. Now that I am paying an assistant, I also feel extra pressure to ensure I have the money to pay her as well. My marketing efforts need time and attention. My business needs some of my creativity as I evolve forward.
So, I’m trying a new way of creating mental space. I’m creating containers for the “work” part of my business. I’m committing to only working at pre-planned times on my business. Whenever my mind wanders during the week to business ideas, I remind myself that we have a time set aside for this.
A writing habit needs space. My writing mind needs other things to be contained so it has space to roam.
Post note: I originally wrote this essay at the beginning of May. It is now August and I listened to my mind's desire for more creative space. I utilized my containers, as well as reduced my expenses (I only worked with an assistant for one month). I now feel back in a place of creative mental space.
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