Around 2020, a slew of books related to racism were released. What was unique about these books is that they were designed for white people to examine racism within themselves and dismantle their own beliefs and behaviors. For example, Layla Saad’s book “Me and White Supremacy” offers a different topic and accompanying questions for 30 days.
These books are deeply needed because they are asking the perpetrators to take responsibility.
I would like the same for men and the topic of misogyny and patriarchy.
There are thousands of books, podcasts, essays, and more for women about the topics of feminism, misogyny, and patriarchy. There are thousands of pieces of advice about how women can protect themselves, identify harmful behavior, navigate abusive systems, and more.
AND YET, women are not the primary problem. Yes, it is important that we equip women in this sad reality.
But I am tired of working at that level when the perpetrators keep going.
Everyday men and the culture of masculinity continue to center themselves and inflict harm (both known and unknown on women). I’ve written about this in some of my essays: The Harm of Men’s Ignorance on Sexual Violence and I Need Men to Step up for Men.
I could write hundreds more on these topics.
But I don’t want to.
What I want is for men’s behavior to change.
How do we do that?
I don’t know.
Normally when I hit an “I don’t know” moment, I look to other educators and books. And yet, there is a dearth of books on the topic of MEN doing the work of dismantling patriarchy. The one author coming close to it is Justin Baldoni.
I spent hours yesterday imagining what it could look like for such a book.
And yet, I am woefully unequipped. And also angry that yet again I have to waste my labor on this.
So this is where I return to where I started with this essay. The fact that anti-racist books exist gives me hope. This is exactly the kind of thing I hope for in the subject of misogyny. Maybe you could be the next author of this book? I would be happy to consult.
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