Dear Tech Habits,
This is a break up letter. I’m sorry to be so direct, but I know you need very clear information. Furthermore, I know you have a hard time respecting boundaries, so I want to make this one extra clear and firm: we are done.
Sometimes people like to say things like, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Can we agree it’s both? It’s not who you are, it’s what you do to me. You actually do everything you’re supposed to do. You’re operating as you’re designed and even themsome. Sometimes I really loved you for who you are. It was like there was so much potential for us - and potential is so intoxicating.
But potential is no place to live. I don’t want to live in the future. I want to live in the present - and when I look at the present, it isn’t very good.
"You Shackled Me" Illustration by Jackie Schuld
We don’t want the same things.
We don’t hold the same values.
We argue all the time about how to best spend our time.
You want to spend more and more time together, when I really enjoy solitude.
You like lots and lots of attention, at whatever cost. You’ve displayed some troubling behaviors. Quite frankly, you’re quite toxic to many people.
You’re also not a good listener. You’ll listen to anything that benefits you, but if it’s not going to benefit you in some way you don’t really care.
I guess what I’m saying is I need more mutual respect. I need more shared vision, values, and alignment.
I’m accepting the reality that we do not have that.
I know we talked about all of this last week, but it’s like you didn’t fully understand. You kept showing up every morning, wanting to spend time together. You kept calling at night, wanting to do more together. And of course I couldn’t resist. You were such a part of my routine, it just felt natural.
But that’s not healthy for us, so I decided to write you this letter.
You are very hard to let go of, but I know it is best for me. I cannot tell you what is best for you. I know you think it is me, but I cannot make you happy. No one can satisfy the exorbitant level of need you have. I’d suggest getting some therapy before jumping into another relationship, but I highly doubt you’ll listen to me.
So you do yo, and I’ll do me. Maybe one day we can be friends, but for now, I need no contact with you. I’ll reach out when and if I’m ready to reconnect.
Thank you for reading. If you’d like to read more, sign up for my FUNletter.