My Autistic Silence Does Not Mean Agreement
- Jackie Schuld
- May 16, 2023
- 3 min read
Sometimes people think that because I did not say anything in response to what they said that I agree with them.
My silence does not mean agreement.
I am AuDHD - which means there is a spectacular amount of things happening in my mind and body. My silence in a conversation can happen for multiple reasons:
I’m stunned into silence. Many times, my mind can barely believe what the person is saying. It’s like something short-circuits in my brain in shock. There are no responses because I cannot believe it is even happening. For example, a previous boss once called me “baby girl.” I was so shocked that I just stared back at him. It wasn’t until I got home that my full emotional response came. I was enraged that he would call me this. It was at this point that thoughts also filled my head, like, “Would he refer to my male colleague as baby boy?” You can read more about this in my essay An Autistic Request to the Heavens: Can I Please Have the Right Things to Say at the Right Time.
I question what I heard. When my mind is in its shocked state about what it just heard, I also question if I heard the person correctly. I often experience difficulty hearing a human voice amidst the clutter of other noises. I think, “He couldn’t have possibly said that?” I wish my mind was quick enough to say, “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” However, my mind is usually lost in its own thoughts, imagining what else could have been said and questioning if it is even worth asking.
I intentionally ignore. There are some individuals in my life that routinely say insensitive and offensive things. I have tried in the past to address things with them, which usually escalates into them dramatically defending themselves or attacking me. It is not worth the time and energy. For these individuals, I do everything I can to limit my time and exposure to them. If I do have to be around them, I ignore comments and quickly try to move the conversation along.
I choose not to share my opinion. Sometimes my friends come to me for emotional support. They want to vent about a situation and get something off their chest. In these moments, I understand they are not seeking my opinion or perspective. They are seeking someone who will listen to them. I will not bring up unsolicited advice (you can see my essay The Trouble with Advice) or interrupt their flow of words to tell them my opinion.
I wait to address something. When I disagree with someone, I recognize that the person needs to be in a grounded, calm state in order to have a fruitful discussion. If someone is upset and raging about a particular topic, I know it is likely not the best time to present another point of view. I often choose to circle back at a later time with these people to talk about the issue at hand.
It comes out garbled. Sometimes I do my best to voice my opinion in the moment. I am seldom as articulate as I would like to be. In my head, my web of perspectives and supportive points make perfect sense, but it is hard to verbally articulate that in a concise manner. Furthermore, people sometimes don’t understand what I’m saying. I can tell by the looks on their faces or even a comment, “You’ve lost me.” It’s frustrating. It’s one of the reasons I write. It gives me time to say everything in a clear way.
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I read the post about autistic silence and how it does not mean agreement, and it helped me understand that quiet can hide deep thought and feelings most people do not see. Once when I was overwhelmed by schoolwork, I even used management assignment writing services to help me break big tasks into small parts so I could think clearly again without stress. It made me see that understanding each other takes patience and calm.
This is such a powerful and eye-opening piece. I really appreciate how you clearly explained that silence should not be mistaken for agreement, especially in the context of autism. As you shared, silence can come from being overwhelmed, processing thoughts, or even shock—not necessarily acceptance of what’s being said . This perspective is so important because it challenges common assumptions and encourages more thoughtful, respectful communication.
What makes this post even more impactful is how it gives a voice to experiences that are often misunderstood or overlooked. It reminds readers to pause, listen, and not jump to conclusions based on silence alone.
For students pursuing Masters in Canada, especially in psychology or social sciences, insights like these are incredibly valuable…
This piece really highlights how silence can be misunderstood in conversations—it’s powerful to see how something so simple can carry such complex meaning. As the blog suggests, silence often reflects processing, overwhelm, or uncertainty rather than agreement . In a similar way, when students research options like MBBS in Serbia fees, they often take time to reflect quietly before making decisions. Insights shared on platforms like Education Vibes also show how thoughtful consideration—rather than quick responses—plays an important role in choosing the right study abroad path.
This post resonated so deeply — the part about thoughts only fully forming once you're home is something so many neurodivergent people experience but rarely see articulated this clearly. That delayed emotional and verbal processing can feel so isolating, especially in academic or professional settings where quick responses are expected. As a nursing student, I've felt this countless times during clinical discussions or group debriefs, where my silence was read as disengagement when I was actually processing intensely. It's part of why I occasionally turn to a Nursing Assignment Writing Service — having extra time to organize my thoughts in writing, rather than on the spot, makes such a difference. Thank you for naming these experiences so honestly; this kind…
This piece is deeply moving and highlights an important truth about communication and neurodiversity. Silence should never be mistaken for agreement, and this perspective helps create understanding for autistic individuals. It reminds us to listen actively and respect different ways of expressing thoughts and emotions. Just like careful threading of embroidery floss creates a beautiful pattern, taking time to understand someone’s unique communication style builds stronger connections. Everyone deserves patience and consideration, and acknowledging that silence can carry meaning is essential for empathy and inclusive interactions in both personal and professional spaces.